Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Top 10 Funny Movie Titles !!

In this age of hype and aggressive advertising,Movie titles play a big role in creating interest in the viewers and sometimes its the titles that keep the makers from going under when the movie "is'nt quite there!!".But more often than not the movie titles sometimes picture the irony of the makers.Here is my countdown 10-1 of my interpretations of my favorite 10 films with such stud titles.
#10 Alam Ara- My favorite quiz question.Every quiz master i know wants this question in the Rapid Fire Round.The only reason why someone would have watched it was the first Indian talkie and the public had no other options because the next movie Toofan Mail was a good 3 years away!!!A recent poll showed that 76% of the people who had seen/heard of the movie did'nt even know that Alam Ara is an Urdu phrase meaning "The light of the world".
Though it wa much higher on my original list i give it #10 for the very fact that the makers did not have the luxury of adopting the genre of an already successful movie.
#9 Balu ABCDEFG- A fine telugu movie!!I have seen this movie at least half a dozen times (this movie was actually a hit!!) but i still have no clue as to what the hell ABCDEFG means!!!
#8 Do Aankhe Baara Haath-(2 eyes and dozen hands!!!!)No comments!!
#7 Aasoon ban gaye phool- I have no idea what kind of a miracle was this movie as the title suggests coz i did not want to risk my sanity and was a pure chance that i stumbled on this title will Channel Surfing?!!
#6 Zulm Ko Jala Doonga- Ya keep trying buddy!!!You will eventually give up!!!
#5 Yahan Wahan- Well the makers seem to be answer as to where the movie might do well!!
#4 RGV Ki Aag- A fire indeed because RGV got his hands burned big time trying to recreate the magic of possibly the greatest Indian movie ever made and ended up with a sarcastic spoof of the original.
#3 Ugly Aur Pagli- Well you could have called it Mallika Sherawat because these terms are fast becoming synonymous!!!
#2 Maine Pyar Kyun kiya? I've seen the movie and i have no idea!!
#1 Phoonk-Dare to Watch Alone- Well considering RGV's poor run in the box office if i ever decide to watch it in an theater(and not download it for free) i am sure as hell that i will be really lonely in the empty theater!!!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

The Art Of Getting Recruited!!

After narrating "my first interview" experience to friends and family at least half a million times, i finally decided to jot this down into my literally dysfunctional blog and the next time somebody asks me "How was it?" i will have the luxury of giving him(her!!) this link and forgetting all about it!!
I myself see campus interviews as a 2 hurdle race(Some companies make it a 3 hurdles race!!) where the first hurdle is the written test(Knockout round) and the survivors go into the all-or-nothing round of Technical and HR interviews.
The written test is actually a pretty simple test which tests us in the fields of Mathematics, English , Aptitude and reasoning skills. The mathematics is basic high school level mathematics and is supposed to be a breeze.Wrong notion as i realized this the hard way that though the questions can can be solved by any 9th grader its important to solve these as quickly as possible so that we can save as much time as possible for the English and reasoning questions which tend to be tricky and time-consuming. Overconfidence can be a real killer in this round as speed can only be achieved by practice.My advise is to shelf the ego when solving high school math and begin from scratch and memorize all the Formulae and of course refer good books that have simple tricks and shortcut techniques.Once your through you are half way there so prepare to slog it out for this round.

Next comes the Technical interview.Some companies have a group discussion round to filter the people whose communication skills are not up to what the company expects from their prospective employees.(Contrary to what neo-nazists and so-called save-your-mother tongue activists say English is a big factor here.) Technical interview is supposed to be quite easy and usually only questions based on the basic concepts and definitions in our favourite subjects are asked. If any difficult or tricky questions are asked usually the interviewer is only trying to see if you try to solve the problem or u just throw in the towel and walk away.Anyway there are tons of legacy questions on the Internet which can help you prepare for this too.
Next you will have HR round.Remember if you are selected for the HR round unless you do something really foolish you are as good as recruited for the company but do not start celebrating as there is work to be done. The HR is basically trying to see if you will work in his company at least for a period off 2-3 years, if you want to pursue higher education,if you are really interested in his organization etc etc..... Its better to do some homework about the CEO ,Founders ,Customers etc etc....

Rest all done you must see yourselves in the list of recruited candidates and on your way to celebrations. Remember once you clear the written test it would really a waste of chance if you do not get recruited so prepare in advance for the Technical and HR rounds. And yes dress smart and conservative to show that you are serious about getting recruited.
I could say good luck for your placements but my take on luck is slightly different to what you may digest.So prepare well.

Friday, July 4, 2008

What was i thinking????

Sorry people....In my quest of successfully surviving the double act of getting 'employed' and clearing the 'V.T.U. litmus test' i had to postpone my potential new found hobby-blogging. Well i did try to make up by putting up some silly anecdotes and stories(well i was just trying to make sure you stay away from my blog by scaring you away with some really sick stories!!).
Well here i am with an job offer @ hand and a reasonable performance in my exams(reasonable considering all time i have spent partying,freaking out and chatting online!!Well no official confirmation till the results are out.).
Keep checking this space for my posts and tell me how bad it was.
P.S. I promise no more sarcasm(fingers crossed :-)) and no more life threatening inspirational stories of weird animals!!!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

The Rabbit and the Crow!!

This one is a nice one i read in a book- (well the name of the book and its author are the last things that you have to worry about so read on- [;-) ] )
On a fine warm typical English Summer morning everything was simply perfect for Mr.Rabbit.The Wolf that had been hunting him for the last couple of days was nowhere to be seen and after repeatedly taking evasive actons from the Greedy wolf , it was a welcome change to be able to take rest.But he was also worried about the prospect of it putting its guard down and the Wolf making easy meal out of it while it was dozing.
So as it was looking around for a safe place to catch forty winks and get around with its daily routine.But no matter how far and wide he searched he never found a palce that he felt would be 'safe enough'. So it looked up to the heavens as if ht answer were to fall out of there.There he saw on the lush green tree none other than Mrs.Crow who was happily gnawing away at what seemed to be a leftover from the nearby camping site.She was engrossed in her feast that she did`nt notice the Rabbit directly below her on the ground. Mr.Rabbit noticed that she was totally oblivious to the fact that There was a Big,Bad Hungry Wolf lurking around the forest looking for some innocuous prey to sink its teeth into.
So Mr.Rabbit thought that this must be a really safe place where the Wolf can never come and decided that there cannot be a better place to take a quick nap.Moreover since the Crow notoriously a timid creature seemed so fearless considering the situation that any attempt to show fear would belittle its reputation.So the Rabbit ,its eyes blinded by ego and self esteem settled down and finally caught up the sleep it had been deprived out of fear of the Wolf.
No sooner had the Rabbit had fallen into deep slumber that the Wolf leaped out of nowhere and pounced on its unsuspecting prey and devoured it gleefully.
The Rabbit, a mild and kind hearted creature went to its just place in heaven.There it confronted an angel and asked it that it had evaded the Wolf umpteen times and the only time it settled down to rest and was devoured by the Wolf while the Crow had not done as much as move a feather but in the end it managed to survive the Wolf`s vicious jaws. Why is it that it deserved to die and not the crow??
The Angel, a truly wise one, replied thus-
"The Only difference between you and the Crow was the height.The Crow was at the top of the tree where it flown to while you were on the ground at the roots of the tree just within reach of the Wolf`s claws unlike the Crow who was out of its grasp.The Lesson you have to learn here was-
"Rest is everyone`s desire But only those who work to get to the top are the only ones who can afford to rest as they have earned their right by getting to height they were at ".

Monday, April 21, 2008

Blame it on your 'Luck'!!!

Its not about How Hard you can hit...Its about how hard you can get hit and keep Moving Forward-Rocky Balboa [2007].
LUCK...4 alphabets....L-U-C-K....This is a word that i have heard one too many times in the past couple of days.Not that i have`nt heard of it before but it definitely hurts when all your efforts, all those sleepless nights you spent planning to achieve something is in the end defined by some sucker as a four syllable word. This is how it goes-when you are down for the count some 'symphatizer' says 'Hard Luck' and when you are on a winning spree- all your efforts bearing fruits at last people just say 'wow he is really lucky'.
So that brought a question to my mind- what is luck??it certainly cannot be divine intervention because life is too good to be a myth.
SO WHAT IS THIS LUCK????????????
Luck as I have realized is not due to the rabbit`s foot around somebody`s wrist nor is it the talisman you bought at the carnival.Luck is the sickest syllable used to derecognize somebody`s efforts and potential and ultimately try to hide the fact that one was not good enough to do it and prove that the so-called 'Lucky One' is blessed to be where he/she is.
So I ask this question-Did Edmund Hillary feel lucky to be the first man at the top of the world or was a deaf boy who wasn't good enough for primary school but grew up to be Thomas Alva Edison Lucky??
So ultimately i say Luck is a word that personifies Sarcasm at its best and it is a cruel weapon used over centuries to degrade somebody`s efforts and Lady Luck is only a pale shadow of the embodiment of somebody`s efforts and potential.The next time someone blames it on luck just remember
"The only thing that does not change about luck is that it is ever changing."

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Underestimated??









An eagle,a cat,a dolphin and an eccentric eel entered a skills school.
The eagle,cat and dolphin scorned at the eel and did`nt give it a dream of a chance to succeed.....
The bird scored A in flying but got F in digging and swimming...
The bird tried to dig and swim ended up eith broken beak and torn wings only to degrade in flying too..
The cat got A in digging but failed in the other too..
it leaped off a cliff to fly ..only to break its limbs...and fail in digging..
The dolphin never got out of the water..and had to be satisfied with an A in swimming..
The eel got C in all the categories and ended up as the class valedictorian.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Guilty of never giving up!!!



I was strolling down in the middle of nowhere when i saw a kid trying to cross a road.Normally i would`nt give a damn about a simple kid trying to cross the road except for the fact that the boy i saw had only two stumps for hands and he was carrying a grocery bag that looked really heavy using the two stumps as hooks for the bag handles.I saw a man trying to offer a helping hand but the kid gave him a look that said "Look i do not need your mercy.I am probably as good as you are" and refused his help.He dropped his bag twice in the process , but he did not bat an eyelid as tactfully bent down each time and picked it up and eventually crossed the road and disappeared into the milling crowd!!! This event happened in a matter of minutes and i walked away without giving a second thought as i always think "Out of sight is out of mind".
Yesterday i was watching a "special" report about a special athlete was on air.I am too much of and cricket and NBA geek and normally would switch channels when other not-so-important sports are on air.It was about an athlete who was denied a chance to compete in the Olympics.He looked pretty plain when he expressed his anguish in the interview.Then the channel aired a video of the athlete training.It took a moment to sink but i noticed immediately that he was actually sprinting on Prosthetic legs.The man was a double amputee!!!!His name:Oscar Pistorius and he qualified fair and square to participate in the Beijing Olympics.But the IOC later revealed that he would not be alloewd to participate as their "test" revealed that his legs gave him an unfair advantage.Mr.Oscar defiantly spoke of "Challenging the verdict" and look in his eye reminded me of the boy i spoke of earlier. I realised that he definitely should not be allowed to participate as he definitely had a unfair advantage. He may have no extra incentive from his prosthetic legs but sure does have an advantage of having nerves of steel and the determination that stood like a mountain. I realised how hollow the the term "Handicapped" felt and it definitely does not apply to the Gutsy South African or his younger counterpart as their physical incapability only gives them the resolve to go that extra mile to fit into this big bad world where everyone who gets better strangely seems to have an 'unfair' advantage. I hope the IOC will start thinking rationally and allow Oscar a coveted chance to show what he is made of in the Grandest of all sporting stages so that he wins more hearts and accolades just as he won the respect of this hard-to-please, Fastidious Blogger.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Amazing questions!!!

Some really Amazing questions some of my friends(nerds) ask me within seconds of logging in.
So see some questions that they asked me which left me totally spellbounded!!!
These are my favourite ones and are all born in the same malfunctioning brain!!
Mind it....WTA stands for wanted to answer!!!
and AA stands for Actually answered!!!
Q.1 Online???
WTA:-What the hell ???what did that message that popped up on your screen say???
AA- Yup!!!!Just signed in!!!Wassup???
Q.2 What do you do online all the time???
WTA:-I definitely cannot swim on the net!so i must be surfing!!
AA:-Nothing...Just.....
Its 1:00 AM and i am still online!!!Just then a friend drops the bombshell!!!
Q.3 Not Asleep???
WTA:-Well what do you think!!!Am i Keanu Reeves to stick a cable into my neck and browse in my sleep??
AA:-Not yet!!About to sign out!!!Good night!!!(Usually sign out before my smart friend drops another "intelligent" question!!!)
Time:-3:30PM
Q.4 Had your lunch???
WTA:-No!!!I will fast till Ganguly is back in the team!!!
AA:-Yup!!Had it long ago!!assume you had it too!!!
Well these are my favourite ones and list of non favourites goes on and on and on!!!
Just returned from college and i head straight to the comp to check my mail!!!
Q.5 Home already???Coming to college tomorrow???
WTA:-No i am planning to rent an empty classroom and stay in college 24/7.will dat make you happy???
AA:-Yup!!!Got (some number that passes my mind) tomorrow.Cant miss!!
Please god have mercy on my soul!!!!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Republic Day Celebrations???

(((All characters mentioned in following blog are purely existent and that includes me !!!.Any resemblance with a person living (and hopefully dead) is definitely not a coincidence.So mind it if you have any problems with my blog ,Just curse yourself because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed on 26th Jan!!!!)))
26th January is a Red letter day in the History of this Planet. It was the day on which the Constitution came into force in the world`s largest democracy(pssssst its India). So obviously every Indian is proud to celebrate this day. So was it celebrated in my township (a place always bubbling with energy and activity) .
The celebrations involved a lot of singing and dancing. The cast was simply 'amazing' (as the host told me once!!!!). A host who kept on advertising himself and trying to get applause for the same tried and tested formulae(Eg:Let me hear some noise) and according to him every performance was 'Stupendous'(Quite a heavy word is`nt it???).The other host happens to be a Sworn enemy of mine.Mind it she is wanted by the police of 15 nations for crimes like torturing audiences with her songs and rotten jokes.Well that`s it for the host- a big round of applause for them(The sooner you give it , the earlier they exit the stage!!!)
Then coming to the dance there were a few kids who danced really the way a kid should dance. (Even the lack of coordination was a treat!!!!).Really entertaining.Then there were the regular recent hits(Dard e Disco ,Mauja hi Mauja ,and check out the local Top 10 list for the rest of the songs.) and some poorly imitated moves of Hrithik and other stars.Probably was the best part of the whole event.(I mean the music was really good!!!!!).
Well that brings to the singing.Let me remind you that singing is really a god`s gift above all other criteria like practice and training. So the singers here were of two types:those who cannot sing and those who think they could sing. I almost feel sorry for the audience (which of course includes me!!!!).
So that`s it for the Republic day the rest of the program included the dinner and lots of ice cream so i must say it passed uneventfully.In the end i was walking home @ around 10:30 PM when a thought came to my mind - The so-called celebrations in fact had nothing to do with the Republic Day.In the end,it was just a mindless display of talent and the lighting and music was just tactfully used to con people into enjoying the whole program.
Mera Bharat Mahan!!!!

Monday, January 7, 2008

Aussie World Champs????



Scene 1
Gilly: How is that???
Bucknor:He Appealed.That must definitely be out!!!
Scene 2
Pup catches one on the bounce and roll overs only to ground it again.He is still shameless enough to appeal for a catch.
Benson(Obviously dozing):What the??is it out???
Punter:Yup!!i say its out!!!
Benson:That`s it!!!its out!!

No,This is not a scene from some cricket cartoon but was the scene at Sydney Cricket Ground.Except for the fact cartoons named Mark Benson(Best ICC Panel Umpire 2007) and Steve Bucknor(of 12oTests Fame) were in the middle of the whole Drama.It was the wannabe Indians vis-a-vis the "Mighty" Aussies where the latter were on their own Turf.But the Indians were screwed of probably 6 wickets on the first day when they literally had the Aussies on the mat.
Then to rub salt on their wounds ,the Indians ran into a couple of umpires with frozen index fingers which they kept waving in the air at the slightest of the appeals from the Aussies."If Mark Benson was to umpire like this in Indian Gully-cricket ,he would surely have got whacked" was the Dil-Se opinion of a senior commentator and ex-Indian captain.Worse the Aussies sensing the opportunity , kept appealing in coordinated symphony only strike gold each time. Everytime the bal beat the bat they went up like they were standing bare footed on broken glass and very soon the umpires were at it again sticking up their fingers at the slightest half chance the Aussies thought they had.Before the series , Ponting made tall claims of the Aussie way of cricket , But in Sydney we got to see how the beer-toting idiots from the land of kangaroos can turn absolutely shameless in their quest to remain the "Juggernaut in International cricket".
Time and again we are reminded of how the Aussies want to win either by hook or crook.Be it the Underarm Ball by Chappell or Mcgrath taunting the in-form Sarwan only to get a back a taste of his own medicine or calling the greatest spin bowler of our time -Muttiah Muralitharan a "Chucker" after their batsmen were bamboozled by Murali magic.But recently this has turned into a obsession and Aussies spit at, abuse ,taunt and tease batsmen in the middle so that they could get them make a fatal mistake. The same was on the cards on Friday when Andrew "The Monkey" Symonds repeatedly taunted Harbhajan Singh while the latter was in the middle batting with Da Vinci of Cricket.Bhajji blew his cool and walked towards Symonds and exchanged a few "Pleasantries' with him only to realise later that he has been summoned by the Referee for Racial Abuse that probably never even happened in the first place. The culprit - a certain gentleman leading the Aussies who couldnt land his wild heaves which he calls "his strokes" against Bhajji and decided that this was the best opportunity he would get to take out his nemesis.This row does bring back to memory the Lehmann episode were the burly Southpaw had some really interesting things to say about Murali`s Skin colour.
If this what being the world champions means i am much better off rooting for a team that tried and tried but was ultimately screwed by incompetent umpiring and cheating champs.
Hopefully the in International Cricketing Council in all sound mind and body should be packing off the two idiots responsible for the whole carnage to their rightful jobs of picking the beer cans off the stands after the day`s play.